Cairo, Egypt Part I
Introduction and airplane thoughts 💭
This was written in Egypt, in 2023. I'm sharing it now because some things are worth saying out loud, past or present.
Airplane Fright
Everyone talks about stage fright - me included - and how daunting it can be. I used to have stage fright. Maybe I still do. So if we switch "stage" for "airplane," could that be coined as a thing?
I used to be afraid of airports and airplanes and customs and immigration — though I remember from a young age, I wanted to travel the world. I wanted to go to those places that required crossing oceans, but I was terrified. I would fall into a terrible anxiety spiral: palms sweaty, voice cracking, stomach in knots. I always feared the immigration officer would reject me and say, “Go home, kid”
And I wasn't entirely wrong — it did happen a couple of times. But I always got through it. I missed planes. I cried at airports. But somehow, I always, always got through it.
After a while, it became routine. That was two years ago. Who knows how many planes and customs officers I've encountered since then. Some fears will really go away if we look at them long enough. And I forgot that. I forgot to give myself credit for it.
Image all the things we’d not see if we lived in fear?
Cairo, Egypt
I used to be scared of going out, too. Of leaving my safety net — even though I so desperately wanted to see beyond it. I would wake in the middle of the night with fears telling me I couldn't do it. Telling me I'd never manage, even just visiting friends across the Atlantic. It felt so real and so paralyzing that I'm still not entirely sure how I worked through it. But I did. And it seems so far away now — almost silly, in a way. And for me to be living in Egypt, in a town far from my friends and everything familiar, I had to pass through that version of myself first. That girl who overcame her anxiety and fears helped build the brave woman now traveling solo around the Middle East.
Not pictured: uncertainty of what comes next for us. My blue backapack and I around the world.
Amman, Jordan - October 2023
It's 5:55 AM on a Saturday morning. The wind blows outside my glassless window — third floor, in a room that's still being built. There's a big bed, which I love, and a fan I couldn't live without. A small table, and everything else is rudimentary — the light switch and the fan switch hang loose from the wall, not yet placed. I have no private bathroom and share one with six other people.
My European version from this past summer would have listened to this with curiosity. My traveler self from two years ago would have winced slightly. My self from last autumn would never have lived here.
And yet… here I am.
In the past, this would have been unthinkable. Even the idea of roughing it would have been out of the question. But as the wind blows outside my window and this is simply life right now, I realize: I did it. I'm doing it. It's not scary anymore.
I hop onto airplanes. I pass through borders and customs, and my passport is now a creased mess. But in a world where we are judged upon a piece of paper that shows where we were born, that document can either be an ally or a challenge.
Those thoughts swirl in my mind as I look at the navy blue cover and the golden letters that say MEXICO on the front. My best friend jokes that my passport isn't as strong as her European one. But as I lie in bed and think about my journey here, I take a breath and realize how privileged and fortunate I am.
Mexican passport traveling through Egypt
Cairo International Airport (CAI) | October 2023
Borders are not neutral. Mobility is not equally distributed.
Going from anxiety to awareness — that feels like its own kind of journey too. With sadness, I think about the world inside my head and the world outside of it. I can move freely. And it's the same world where many people, through no fault of their own, cannot do the same.
For now, what I can say is that we can all do our part — getting educated, traveling with awareness, being conscious, and always respecting the places that so graciously welcome and host us.
How do you do your part, dear traveler?
How do you conciously travel?
Thank you for joining me on this journey! If the stories shared here have inspired or helped you in any way, please consider supporting this space. Your contributions, big or small help sustain and encourage the creation of meaningful content :) -JC
